It is almost a New Year. So many Thoughts running through my brain. Resolutions? I like to refer to them as Goals and Life Style Improvements. A way to fine tune life so to speak.
Journeys and Paths that are on the horizon. Take this road. Don't look back. Do you ever have these feelings of not wanting to look back? Is it even possible, not to look back? I think our past can help us learn of what we are striving to become in our future, but I don't think it can ever be erased. Even if it isn't pretty it has molded us into what or who we are. Shaping us into more interesting people which is what makes all of us different.
8 years ago, my Art Journey Began. It came on suddenly. Awakening like a new dawn. Sparks flew. Paint, fabric and yarn were gathered. It began as a hobby and emerged into something more. It was so fun in the beginning. It gave me satisfaction. Something just for me. Something New and Exciting and Magical! I was able to make something from nothing and it was so very exciting. There was no hesitation in the beginning. No doubt in the beginning. Just raw creating....like a child with a new toy. Like learning to ride a bike for the first time.
Today, I sit here and contemplate my 8 year Journey. Why did this creative world open up to me so late in life? Why did God bless my hands with the ability to create? Or did he? Am I just fooling myself. Trying to self fabricate something that doesn't really exist. Kidding myself. Some days the journey is fun and magical and other days it is very sad and lonely. Causing so much doubt. Hurt feelings are involved when other "friends" copy your technique and style.
Today I question if this is the Path on my Journey I am suppose to take.....or is it simply a road that I should forget about and "Don't Look Back" on. Life was simpler without the creative road. I didn't doubt myself, I was confident going about my day. I felt like I understood myself and my feelings.
When I begin to think about quitting (which is quite often. the most recent is when I contemplated a "Job")....I just know that I can't. It seems as if it would be so much simpler, but giving up on your dreams isn't simple at all. You can try and try again, but the passion always rises to the surface and begins to burn inside of you. If you ignore it you will begin to feel sick. You can't ignore it. It is a part of you. Deep down a true part of your soul. You need to visit with it everyday and treat it with Love.
Journeys are the paths that create and mold us into the people we are suppose to become. Some are lucky to find their purpose early and others struggle through most of life without ever finding out.
I am looking forward to this New Year of Beginnings and possibilities. The world is a very big scary place sometimes. Taking one step at a time and being very patient can lead to a new world of opportunities. Rewarding yourself and enjoying the little things in life is often the best thing we can do. Treating yourself kindly and Loving those around you along with yourself is important.
For now, my dreams are alive. I have so many things to be thankful for. My Sweet Husband whom I Adore. My two beautiful Children who make me laugh and cry and sing all at the same time. My beautiful Home and all the lovely things I am surrounded by. My family and friends. Near and far. My health and my abilities.
This coming year I will be writing more about my life...my art and my feelings. I want to share so much with you. There is so much. I will be sharing more art with you as well as I begin to focus on my dreams. As I begin to push away the fear and start creating.
I wish you all a Wonderfully Happy New Year. I hope that you all are able to make some really great Life Style Improvements towards the Happy Life you deserve. Thank You so much for your support and for coming here to read about me and my life. See you in 2010! Until then I am signing off for the year to spend time with my beautiful family and in my studio. xoxoxo Michelle